Blonde With a Hot Iron

A young man comes home from the office and finds his blonde bride sobbing uncontrollably.

”What’s wrong?” he asks.

”I feel awful,” she cried.
“While I was pressing your suit, I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Don’t worry about it,” consoled the husband.
“Remember that I have an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s a darn good thing you do, too,” she replied, drying her eyes.
“I used them to patch the hole.”



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Blonde Battle for Custody

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old blonde mountaineer and his blonde young wife were getting a divorce in the local court.

But custody of the children was a problem.

The blonde mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that, since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old blonde mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.

The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the blonde mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"


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Blonde Irish Wife

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up,
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up,
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up,
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."


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Sex Therapy

A man was visiting his blonde wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decided to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she let out a sigh.

The man ran out and told the doctor who said that was a good sign and suggested he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The husband went in and rubbed her right breast. This produced a moan from his wife. He rushed out and told the doctor.

The doctor said this was amazing and a real breakthrough. The doctor then suggested the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he would wait outside as it is a personal act and he didn't want the man to be embarrassed.

The man goes in, then came out about five minutes later, white as a sheet. He told the doctor his wife is dead.

The doctor asked what happen to which the man replied,
"She choked."


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Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Dear Friend, "Give me five minutes and I can predict your financial future for the rest of your life!" --T. Harv Eker Sound unlikely? Well it's true. In just a few minutes of conversation, T. Harv Eker can predict your financial future by identifying what he calls your "inner blueprint" for money and success. Right now you're probably trying to figure out whether your own blueprint is set for wealth, moderate success or poverty. The answer is simple! Look at your results in the real world: your income, assets and net worth. Your results reflect your inner blueprint. I recently sent you an email regarding an opportunity to listen to a recording of a recent interview with T. Harv Eker. If you chose not to take me up on that opportunity, for whatever reason, I strongly recommend that you take the time to listen to it now. You can't build a mansion from a bungalow blueprint. In fact, the only way to become the architect of your new financial destiny is by revising your own internal blueprint and setting it for automatic success. Fortunately, that's exactly what Harv will share with you on this 60 minute recording. During the Millionaire Mind Teleseminar, Harv will: Reveal the root causes of your money problems Demystify the destinies of the rich and poor Explain how (and why!) some people are programmed to fail Show you how to generate amazing results Help you expose your unconscious conditioning Spell out how you can reach your full financial potential As if that isn't enough, at the end of the call you will learn how you can receive a bonus worth $2,590! Access the streaming audio at: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind The value you'll take away from this program is so great that I recommend you listen to it right now. Revise your immediate schedule if you have to. Financially speaking, your life could depend on it. Access the streaming audio at: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind To your success, Luis P.S. This recorded seminar could literally be the difference between struggling financially for the rest of your life and creating the prosperous future that you envision. Financial success is not an impossible dream for a lucky few. Financial success is like everything else in life; it depends on knowledge and the power that comes with it. Don’t wait another day to get your monetary house in order. Learn how today! Take action at: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Fallen bridge

A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back.

He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back."

She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"


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A Blonde Police Stop

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"

Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."


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